Twenty-four weeks six days

          Twenty-four weeks six days.

Waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel

 Only three months & thirteen days till baby K is here! I am so excited to meet her, I want time to fly by. I want summer to pass and I want to have my family together. I want us to be able to be together and start our lives. 

 Everyday has been a struggle with B bring gone. It's not easy, my hearts heavy, I feel lonely, I miss our conversations. I miss his laugh. Everyday I put on a brave face, I build myself up to be strong. No one I know, knows what it is that I am going threw. But even if they were and asked what was wrong, it's the same thing that was wrong the day before. I am lucky and I am surrounded by caring friends and family, surrounded by lots of love except from the one person I desire to have around the most. 

 

 We email almost everyday sometimes we get to chat online if the time difference works in our favor for the day. I just wish he could be here with me and be there when baby K is born. It hurts so bad I will not be able to hold his hand or see him hold her for the first time. I miss him. I keep myself busy so to not over think things to hope he is being as caring and respectful towards our relationship as I am. 

 

 My newest hobby I have been doing to keep busy and to keep my mind clear and stress free....YOGA.... It has been so helpful in freeing my mind from everything that is going on. The environment is so welcoming and wonderful, the classes take away my physical pains and the meditation takes away the worries from my mind. Along with being a healthy activity! With doing yoga and working out I have been feeling better than I have in a long time with my body. 🙏

Soon B will be at a port and soon we will get to Skype, will be the first time I get to talk to him and see his face since I saw him right before his deployment. I just in him, I just can't help but worry sometimes. I don't want a broken family. Just thinking and staying positive, hoping for a happy and healthy baby girl to be born then the safe return of B and the start of a future together as a family. 

7 month count down...

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  Today was the day, the day I knew that was coming but it felt like we had so much time before it did. B deployed for his 7 month deployment today and it was so hard, emotionally I am just drained. I miss him so much already, I miss his touch and just having him hold me while we lay together! And the way he can make me smile and cheer me up when I'm feeling down. In a way it's good because now the count down has started for him to return home to me and baby K and we can finally start our new adventure as a family. I have never loved someone the way I love B, he truly inspires me to be the best me I can be. He has such a good heart and has a beautiful way of looking at the world. Our baby girl is so lucky to have such an amazing daddy. I just am looking forward to our future as a family. My heart is still heavy and I know there will be easier days than others but knowing that at the end of this very difficult and challenging road I can see the sunshine and when that day comes it will all be worth it! 

  The moment I am most excited for is for B to get to meet his baby girl in person for the first time. I don't think I have ever been so excited for anything in my life! I wish he could be there with me when K comes into the world, but I know it breaks his heart he can't be so dreading on that he can't be there more doesn't help. But our reunion as a family will make all the tears and heartache disappear! 

 While B was on break before his deployment we had our baby shower in Arizona surrounded by all our amazing friends and family who have given us so much love and have given K so much love! She already has an amazing Godmother who we couldn't have picked a better person to be. After the shower B and j drove back to California to his home city up north and saw his family and childhood friends, was so great seeing him happy and carefree. The rest of the week we spent running errands and spending with our very close friends. We didn't do anything super crazy, or go anywhere fancy but the time spent dancing, laughing and just talking with the ones the net the most to us and to B was the best time in the world. A special night spent with his very best friend and his lovely wife ( who is also Bs close friend) and their adorable daughter was one the best nights. Just relaxing talking about becoming parents and enjoying good food with good people made the end of the week end off perfectly. And as a last to do B and I spent our last day sleeping in getting good food, and went and made baby K a very very special bear!🐻

  We made K a bear from build-a-bear! She is a colorful little bear we named Sprinkles from mom & dad to K! To make it even better B recorded a special message in it for baby K to have so she can hear his voice every night. 💞 until K is born I am borrowing her bear for cuddling with is brings me comfort in knowing he put so much love into creating this bear for her. I play the message close to my belly every night since so she can hear daddy's voice! 

 I miss you B, it's hard to not want to crawl into bed and hide, to not cry and to not want to fly across the world to come find you. You are the most amazing man I have ever met, thank you for not giving up on me a year ago when I was a lost soul who was just afraid of love. Baby I love you and am so proud of you everyday! And no matter where in life our adventures may bring us you can count on me and K to always be there with you! I love you forever & always. Hurry home K and I are waiting baby!

Xoxo

Support our troops people, they all need to come home to the people they love. 

Heavy heart

I just miss you so much my heart hurts. Kenzie needs you and so do I baby!❤️

Forever&Always 

XOXO

Missing the group we call family very much.❤️

 It's COACHELLA season!!! And weekend two is in full swing! And baby & I are not joining the group of amazing new friends and our family-friends group. B is out on the ship and I haven't been able to talk to him in a few days which is made today and this coming up weekend a very emotional one for this already emotional prego. I miss the none stop laughter I share with my group, the smiles and memories we have made so quickly. B and have some amazing friends who have all turned into our small family group. Some are new and are warming and welcoming and have become family so quickly. Their supprt along with the long time support we have gotten from our family/friend group. I have been thinking a lot of so many people have or were negative or just weren't fully supportive but where "happy" for us. But this group that contains 8 of us is all I need when it comes to friends and family. And not having any of them to talk to or spend time with makes me miss them all so much. I hope they dance the nights away and make happy new memories at coachella but I really can not wait till B and mines baby shower comes up in just a short 16 more days!! 💗💗💗💗💗💗

 

  Than after that I get to spend 9 full days with the love of my life and some of our family friends while we are in California. Everything is so bitter sweet lately, and I know my over emotional state is not making anything easier! 

But when things are down and when I'm feeling lonely( since Kenzie Kat doesn't talk back much)  my sister came up with a great idea to go have a girls night and do some shopping and just hang out with the girls. Will be myself, my sister, my niece and both my moms. Should be exactly what I need to help bring me out of this funk.  Keeping positive & sending out good vibes 

#motherfeelings

 

  Got my first true real feel of pure excitement to get to hold you and get to know you and your beautiful soul. Kenzie Kat I love you💗

#pregnant & #confident

                Pregnant & confident                

 It's taken me awhile to start to feel comfortable with my body changes. I have always had weight issues growing up, so with the first 5-8 pounds I really could feel the difference. I am not use to being at this high of weight for my small size. 

 Things I did to help myself feel better and more confident was continuing to work out. Laying out for small periods, when I am tan I feel better, I feel golden!😊 I give into my guilty food cravings j just do in portions. I could eat a lot healthier but eating in portions allows me to still feel good and get what I want!  But what helped the most was I have a really supportive and loving man. B helps bring me up when I'm really down about myself and my looks. The best feeling is him loving how I look and making me feel sexy. That's the best feeling in the world.❤️✨✨

Our little family

 Had the most amazing weekend with B. It was so nice being able to spend time together just the two of us, 3 weeks feels like a life time not getting to see him. But sadly the weekend ended and he is back out in training. I already miss him. Will be another 3 weeks till I see him, and when I do see him we get to celebrate our baby girl and have our baby shower!💞 We are having the baby shower very early since shortly into May B will be getting ready to deploy. Felt like we had so much time before he has to leave and time has gone by so fast each day goes by faster and faster. I am so proud of him and all the hard work he had been doing, not just for us but for our future and for our baby girl. He is by far the most dedicated, hard working man I know. I love him so much, I just hope the time while he's gone goes flys by. I selfishly want to keep him here. I have known since we got together that he would be leaving for a 7 month deployment but now that we are having a family and the day is creeping up on us it breaks my heart. I put on a brave face and hide my tears, it's not his fault he is leaving, it's his job it's what he has been working so hard for. It's selfish of me to even try and stand in the way of his hard work or to make him feel bad about leaving. It all will be worth it in the end, this will be one the hardest obstacles I have had to face in my life.

 I just can't help but worry, I just want him to come home and be able to meet our baby girl. I never want a last kiss or a last laugh, I don't want him to be a memory that our daughter will never have I want him to teach her and watch her grow. We both are so lucky to have such an amazing man in our lives. I love you B. Please come home to baby K and myself. 

 Whenever I start to think to deep into what is coming up I think back to when we very first met, when he got me drunk, when we went on our first adventure, the first time we kissed and the first time he said he loved me. I smile just thinking of him. This weekend was extra amazing, we went on a date night, had a Saturday filled with hanging out at my cousins new place laying by the pool in the perfect Arizona sun with lots of fun people, drinks and B even taught me how to play the paino. Of course he taught me one of our favorites a Matt & Kim song.❤️ After he accompanied me to the Lucky Man Concert at the Tempe Beach Park, we saw The Used, The Offspring and of course my favorite A Day to Remember! It was so great! Music is a big part of both of our lives, it brought us together and it was so awesome being able to enjoy one my favorite bands with him. And of course we enjoyed Easter Sundah with my family and did our registry for baby K. 

I have no idea why or how I got so lucky with getting to be with someone like B but I couldn't be happier. He makes me excited for the future, he lifts me up and brings out the best in me. I love you B, if you are to ever see this im sure you already know how much you mean to me and I'm sure you probably think I'm cheesy but I don't care I'll be cheesy all day baby! 😊 

Shopping

   Oh goodness! For the first time I went and looked around at some baby items such as bedding, strollers and clothes and I have shopped for baby items many times and always love it and it's so hard to pick between all the cute tutus and pink little bows! But today was extra hard! My mom and I got little meatball some cute outfits to be a little pink sailor so she can be a sailor like her daddy!💗

We also got some pink anchor sheets and just some adorable onesies! I wanted it all! Ever since I found out we are having a girl I want everything pink! My wallet just can't afford the adorable pink baby clothes! And of course baby also got her first pair of Nike! So she can be like mommy and daddy! ✔️ This is getting very exciting!

#itsagirl #babygirl

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 That's right! We are expecting a baby girl!! Couldn't be more excited to meet our little princess! 

Short and sweet post! Just had to share the excitement! Today was a good daub. I can't wait to send the pictures I took with pink balloons to B so he can see! I wish I could tell him in person but I am just so excited had to share the news wih him! Shall let you know how he responds to having a baby girl to protect! 😊💗

Baby news update!! #babynews #girl #newmom #hipmomtobe

 

   Ahhhhh!!! Nerves are flying!! Finished editing these amazing pictures my girlfriend took on my iPhone in her backyard just so fun and turned out so well! Just shows a great picture doesn't need a big fancy camera or a super fancy loactions or thousands of dollars for a "photographer" be yourself, be creative and just have fun with your pictures and photoshoots! 

                                             

 BUT... Back to my crazy nerves! I just sent a select handful of the pictures I took at yesterday's little photo shoot, edited them and sent them to B!!! Eeek!!! I know he will be very excited and of course his usual supportie self! But I know he no WE wanted a boy and a slight moment after finding out we were having a girl I did have that small moment of disappoint, but the overwhelming happiness that filled my heart and my whole body oh knowing she was going to be perfect and she was our baby brought so much happiness and excitement to me. I hope B feels that same overwhelming happiness after im sure his worry no he has a daughter to protect! I have been glued to my email since I sent them out only 5 minutes ago which seems to be a life time! I hope he gets on a computer and can see them soon waiting to know if he has seen them out not is driving me crazy! I am not the most patient person in the world! A skill I need to master with becoming a Navy wife!❤️⚓️❤️⚓️❤️⚓️❤️⚓️❤️⚓️❤️⚓️❤️

            Out future is very bright. 

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C A L I F ☀️ R N I A #goodvibes #truelove

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 After three very long weeks apart finally got to go spend the weekend in California and see my partner in crime and the man who stole my heart!❤️ Felt so good to see his face and hold him close. Besides getting to see my bestfriend it was so nice spending the weekend surrounded by the people who love us and support us the most. Our friend-family. They are the most loving, creative and amazing group of people. We have come together and created an amazing bound, all brought together by our love for music and how it frees your soul!🎶 

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 Went to the first Crssd festival in sunny San Diego California, I have to say being pregnant and at a festival all day was a very long and tiring day! But I kept up with my wild crew and enjoyed every minute surrounded by good vibes and lots of love. Being younger and with mine and Bs relationship being not the norm ( and I like it that way) a lot of people have been the most supportive of us or us starting a family, we brush those negative people away, we know what we have and when you want something bad enough nothing can get in the way.

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 With life being a little crazy lately and being overwhelmed this weekend was exactly what I needed. I am so proud of B and how hard he works and how strong of a person he is. He makes me so proud. It will be almost three weeks again until I get to see him again, it sure isn't easy and with time getting closer and closer to him leaving my heart gets heavy with the thought of him leaving. But as soon as I see his smiling face and he puts his arms around me and holds me tight all of it goes away and in the some what near future we will no longer be separated by miles and miles between us. I can not wait for the day when I get to wake up to him every morning. I am so lucky to have such an amazing bestfriend and love like B. 

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

 I have loved before, but never like this. He brings me up, always puts my first and makes me want to be the best me I can be. We know becoming parents won't be easy, and it's a little scary, but we are in this for the forever and always. I wish I could re-live the weekend all over again but the next time I get to see him will be just as amazing. We didn't get much alone time this weekend so I am looking forward to our alone time our next visit. I could lay in a bed and talk to him for hours and hours about everything, I love this outlook on life. He is one the strongest, intelligent and positive men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I think about the first time we met all the time and how crazy it is were it has brought us. I am not a very religious person but I thank god everyday for bringing him into my life and showing me I am worthy of being loved and showing me real love exist in more than just fairytales it may not be as pretty and easy as in a fairytale but B and I.. Our story is a story of love, determination, honesty, trust and a hell of a lot of good times! I can't wait to spend my life with my bestfriend. I love you B, be safe during training I will be thinking of you every day till our little family is reunited , I will fight for you forever babe. 

❤️ forever & always 

#yoga #livehealthy #green

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 Belly is showing more! It's pretty exciting!😊 Missing B very much today! So decided to go out in the beautiful rainy, cloudy weather and took some pictures to send to B while he is doing his training! 

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 It really is great being with someone who is so loving and supportive. Everytime I see him or send him and update picture he tells me how beautiful I am, and how he doesn't know how he ended up with someone like me. It's such a great feeling, he gives me butterflies and makes me blush so much! 

I'm lucky in love!💗💙💗💙💗💙💗💙

A+B👶

My simple steps happy, healthy self.

 Despite all the negative energy that's been lingering around me lately I have decided to put my best foot forward and surround myself with those who bring happiness and positive energy into my life. I figured out some steps to keep me going into the right direction. 

Step one:🍏 Eating healthier, the better I eat the better I feel. Which is basic knowledge but it feels great when you add it into your life, it's the simple things.

Step two: Like I said above surrounding myself with the right people, I think that's the biggest influence, happy people & supportive people, you can never have enough of them. It's a bad posin to have people who want to bring you down, it's something you learn at an early age but I don't think most people really take it to heart that positive people rise you up both physically and emotionally. 

Step three: Buy some new clothes! Or go get your hair done! I decided to do both! A new look & feel can change you in the most simple of ways! It's like shedding the old dry and unhappy you and letting your new happy confident self shine!  You should always shine, it doesn't have to be a big change! I simply got some new sports bras, a couple plain tank tops that fit and make my growing belly more flattering and a simple pull over that's bright and perfect for spring. It gave me an all new attitude this morning. 

Step four:💞My own personal and last step is having B by my side. He is so smart and can bring a smile to my face when I'm feeling at my lowest low. He's the one who reminds me no matter how close or who I thought was my "family" that if they are the ones bringing you down and not raising you up to be the best you then they are no family at all. B makes me want to be the best me I can, that I ever have been. Find your B, find your person who loves you for you and reminds you that you do shine! Those are the people you want in your life. 

Just let the haters hate, they obviously aren't happy with their own lives so they feel the need to try and bring you down. Be the bigger person, the better person, the happier person and keep on smiling and just be you! When you are true to yourself happiness comes naturally, along with people who will love you... For you!

"Picture perfect family"

 It has been hard enough not having the full support of my blood family behind me and supporting me during the most rewarding and difficult time of my life of the next year. I had my frist big emotional breakdown today. PREGO PROBS!!!! 

 But after talking to a few amazing, incredible friends that I realize are the only support and love I need, besides from B or course. These people who have brightened  up my spirits! I just want to thank you all, you know who you are. I realized I have another family. These incredible individuals who all create our wild, party, dysfunctional family and the most amazing people you will ever meet. 

Some understand the difficulties of being pregnant at a young age and the stuggles of losing friends while during the process, or fear of losing those who matter when I leave next year to be with my love and have our new young family be all together. 

Stress has lately been taking over my life, but these friends of mine cleared out the gray sky's and showed me some sunshine and I realized how lucky I am and I love you all! I really wouldn't be able to do this without you all! 

Especially after the heartbreaking "family" drama that has been hovering around, I know not all families are "picture perfect" but I just have been hurt by the lies that came up and of course went from one person to another to another than passed along to my mother who then came to me. When families should be able to be open with one another. I'm not mad, I am not pissed off, just hurt. 

I get to see B soon & our California family in just a short 9 days! I can wait! It's exactly when I need. 

Fingers crossed, I love my family members all of them, I hope we can return to being open with one another and return to our loyalty and trust we all once had. This just was one less thing I do not need to add to my plate..

Keep you updated.. 

On the boat..

😔.

  This sure is not easy having B be gone out on the ship doing training and not being able to get ahold of him. I had an emergency trip to the hospital the other day. Luckily everything is fine and baby is going fine, but I have been on bed rest and no gym for me for at least a week. Which is a huge bummer but good vibes and prayers have kept baby in good health.

🙏

  The hardest part of the whole experience was not having B around or being able to get ahold of him. He had a way of calming me down and making everything better. Of course I left him a voice message freaking out which I feel horrible about and I left another making sure he knew both me and baby are doing fine. It's just so hard not having him around. I miss him so much. Miss his silly jokes, that handsome smile and the way he just holds me in his arms.❤️I am so luck to have him, I just hate his training time out on the "boat" and boat I mean big ass ship! I know he has to do the training for when he deploys so he can be safe and return back home to me and baby B. I just never thought I would be with someone in the service.. Or be strong enough to deal with the distance and how difficult it can be. But besides the difficulty, the worry and the loneliness I wouldn't trade what I have with B for anything in the world. Your amazing B and I love you so much. I can wait to see you .. Just about 15 more days and I'll be able to jump into those strong arms and kiss you! I think about you all the time and I can't wait for us to be one family under one roof under neath the California night sky. A&B always & forever.💞

I love you B.

My "little sister"

 I didn't know what to title this blog, just recently my little sister created a blog of her own. Her story is an amazing one to read about. Her life story out to read and learn about brought both happy tears and sad ones. I only knew so much of her struggle to become the great friend, mother, sister, wife that she is today. I wish I knew more, I wish I payed more attention. 

When we were little she dressed like me, acted like me did everything I did. But she is longer a little girl but a women that I look up to. I hope I am as good of a mother as her, her strength to handle the world on her shoulders is admirable. It's so great having a person like her to have for support and guidance. I love my sister, she's not blood, we don't look alike, we are two different people but we love the same people and love each other. Are once "small" group which included my parents, myself, my sister, my brother and my second parents. Just the seven of us for over twenty years slowly has turned into the twelve of us.. Well soon to be twelve still currently eleven. Those ten other people are my world, they have loved me at my best at my worst and support me with no hesitation! 

 Less than a year from today I'll be moving to California to be with Brian and so our little family can be together under one roof finally. 

 It's hard thinking about leaving my friends and family and everything I know, but the hardest will be not being around my sister for Netflix marathons, taco bell lunches and sunday family dinners. I know no distance could break what we worked so hard for. We weren't always close, we always didn't have trust but  just like real sisters fight we fought. We could fight that's for sure. But I would fight for her any day. She doesn't need me to stand up for her, she is tough but I wouldn't hesitate to have her back. 

Tor I respect you so much and I love you, a love deeper than love for people who come from the same blood. You are an amazing friend, mother you always have me laughing and you never fail to give me your opinion..even if it was wanted. 

My little sister is my role model.👭

The Balleweg-Jeras-Roby women. From far left, myself, my mom, my second mom, my sister who was pregnant with babe cope and my future sister-in-law. Also known as My Family💞

Baby Daddy?

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   That's right! We are expecting our first child! It has been a crazy roller coaster!! I know Brian is going to make the greatest daddy! We both are a little nervous but have had a lot of talk about names! And what kind of parents we want to be! It's very exciting! It's the scariest and biggest news of my life & with our friends & family and all the support I know we will be great at it! I have been reading about pregnancy, I have the greatest book called Knocked Up- Confession of a Hip Mother-to-be. It's so comforting knowing that I'm not the only one worried about becoming a mother or going to dr appointments alone, living apart from my baby daddy and worrying about how fat I will get or how fast will I lost the weight!! It's one the greatest books I have ever read! 

 

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 Brian and I will hopefully be going to our first dr appointment together this coming up monday on January 19th. I can't wait! I wonder what he/she will look like! Besides just being scared about actually being someone's parent it breaks my heart that Brian will be overseas during the birth. 💔 I know it kills Brian that he won't be here for the birth of our baby or won't be able to hold his child for almost 2 months after he or she is born! But we both can not wait for when he gets home and we get to go start our life as a family in California! I hope the seven months he is deployed go by so fast! It's going to be the hardest thing saying "see you later" I know I'm not the first mother to give birth to their child without their significant other present. I definitely didn't picture it, but there is no one else in the world I would rather be becoming parents with. Brian and I are over our weird not ourselves freak out moment and things couldn't be better. He's so supportive and tells me everyday how much he loves me and how beautiful and sexy I am now and how I still will be while being 9 months pregnant.❤️ I got so lucky meeting him. I couldn't even begin to picture what my life would even be like without him, he is so goofy and nerdy and brings so much happiness into my life. The greatest part is he excepts and loves me for ME! I can't wait to start buying clothes and nursery items once we know if it's a boy or girl! We both are really hoping for a boy but of course we will be just as excited if it is as girl! 

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  I just got back to Arizona from an amazing four day get away to visit my baby daddy!😉 Still so weird to say that but I love it! Besides just being able to spend time with my love, he was able to get the weekend off and we were able to drive to Fresno so I could FINALLY meet his family! It was a great experience. I met his wonderful aunt & uncle and his cousins he grew up with, also met his very nice brother and his very joyful and kind hearted mother. I had a great time! It was a big step for us and I'm so greatful Brian felt I was important enough to meet his family and talk about our big news with them and they are all so excited! I was hoping we could have a baby shower and go visit them all again before he has to leave at the end of April. And of course we will return to visit maybe for a weekend after the baby is born and after we have moved into our first home together! So many good things to come in 2015, but I honestly want 2016 to be here already so my little but growing family can be all together. I can wait to see Brian play and teach and play music to our baby! Seeing him when he comes home is going to be the greatest most incredible day and for him to meet his child, I think he can't wait either. 

    

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 So far I have had a little sickness, not really morning sickness it kinda comes and goes, I believe it depends more on what I ate and what out little meatball ( that's what we are calling the baby right now, meatball hehe it's cute because we both are a little Italian!) does and doesn't like that I ate! I have noticed I have been eating more and have been getting sleepy and have very low energy pretty much all day! 

 ▶️January 11th:

      Was a very depressing day for me when I tried buying a super cute pair of little army bad ass boots. But my legs are a little swollen and I couldn't fit in them!

 I couldn't wait to share the news! We have so much support from family and our friends it's a great feeling. Goodnight blog! I will keep you updated each step of the way! Can't wait to meet you my little meatball!❤️❤️

Mommy & Daddh love you so much already! 

    XOXO

Long holiday season✨❤️

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Hope everyone had a great and safe holiday season! Finally home from California where I spent ringing in the New Year with my amazing corman in downtown San Diego and spent the first day of 2015 at the happiest place on earth! Only after taking a small trip to the hospital, only due to my lack of balance on heels with alcohol. My boyfriend is a great person and he was such a trooper spending Christmas with my wild and weird family. I'm very lucky to have him. One thing that wasn't so jolly, while in California we got into our first fight.😕 All is well and the past is the past, we all know couples fight. Our fight luckly didn't ruin our chemistry & pleasant trip together. 

 Our fight left an uneasy feeling with me, he has a stressful week ahead & we both have had a lot on our plate which has made both of us stressed and exhausted! It's only a short four months before he deploys for seven months! What seemed to be so far away is getting closer and closer. Plus with all that he has a scheduled sixty-four days at sea. Long distance relationships are far from easy, but this is the most rewarding relationship I have ever been in. His kindness and generous heart puts a smile to my face. He makes me want to be a better person, to be able to offer all I can to such an amazing man. I get to see him over the coming up weekend and I want to surprise him with something small & useful that just shows him that I have him on mind. ( which he always is anyways) But besides dealing with my family over the holidays driving to Arizona  and back to California, paying for everything and being stubborn and not letting me help. He took care of me when I was sick, took me to the hospital, carried me out of the hotel New Year's Eve when I rolled my ankle. I don't want to just buy him a t-shirt, or a picture frame. Something he can use in the field & when he deploys that will be helpful and when he is using it might just make him think of me. I was thinking of getting him a new knife to have out in the field. But I know NOTHING about knives I have a small pocket knife that was $20 that can pretty much only cut and orange but it makes me feel safe. Brian definitely needs a knife that's better than that! Looked online to find some almost $700! I can't afford to do that but I don't want to buy him a u useful knife or one he won't be excited about. Men are so difficult to shop for! Wish me luck!