Only three months & thirteen days till baby K is here! I am so excited to meet her, I want time to fly by. I want summer to pass and I want to have my family together. I want us to be able to be together and start our lives.
Everyday has been a struggle with B bring gone. It's not easy, my hearts heavy, I feel lonely, I miss our conversations. I miss his laugh. Everyday I put on a brave face, I build myself up to be strong. No one I know, knows what it is that I am going threw. But even if they were and asked what was wrong, it's the same thing that was wrong the day before. I am lucky and I am surrounded by caring friends and family, surrounded by lots of love except from the one person I desire to have around the most.
We email almost everyday sometimes we get to chat online if the time difference works in our favor for the day. I just wish he could be here with me and be there when baby K is born. It hurts so bad I will not be able to hold his hand or see him hold her for the first time. I miss him. I keep myself busy so to not over think things to hope he is being as caring and respectful towards our relationship as I am.
My newest hobby I have been doing to keep busy and to keep my mind clear and stress free....YOGA.... It has been so helpful in freeing my mind from everything that is going on. The environment is so welcoming and wonderful, the classes take away my physical pains and the meditation takes away the worries from my mind. Along with being a healthy activity! With doing yoga and working out I have been feeling better than I have in a long time with my body. 🙏
Soon B will be at a port and soon we will get to Skype, will be the first time I get to talk to him and see his face since I saw him right before his deployment. I just in him, I just can't help but worry sometimes. I don't want a broken family. Just thinking and staying positive, hoping for a happy and healthy baby girl to be born then the safe return of B and the start of a future together as a family.
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