On the boat..

😔.

  This sure is not easy having B be gone out on the ship doing training and not being able to get ahold of him. I had an emergency trip to the hospital the other day. Luckily everything is fine and baby is going fine, but I have been on bed rest and no gym for me for at least a week. Which is a huge bummer but good vibes and prayers have kept baby in good health.

🙏

  The hardest part of the whole experience was not having B around or being able to get ahold of him. He had a way of calming me down and making everything better. Of course I left him a voice message freaking out which I feel horrible about and I left another making sure he knew both me and baby are doing fine. It's just so hard not having him around. I miss him so much. Miss his silly jokes, that handsome smile and the way he just holds me in his arms.❤️I am so luck to have him, I just hate his training time out on the "boat" and boat I mean big ass ship! I know he has to do the training for when he deploys so he can be safe and return back home to me and baby B. I just never thought I would be with someone in the service.. Or be strong enough to deal with the distance and how difficult it can be. But besides the difficulty, the worry and the loneliness I wouldn't trade what I have with B for anything in the world. Your amazing B and I love you so much. I can wait to see you .. Just about 15 more days and I'll be able to jump into those strong arms and kiss you! I think about you all the time and I can't wait for us to be one family under one roof under neath the California night sky. A&B always & forever.💞

I love you B.

My "little sister"

 I didn't know what to title this blog, just recently my little sister created a blog of her own. Her story is an amazing one to read about. Her life story out to read and learn about brought both happy tears and sad ones. I only knew so much of her struggle to become the great friend, mother, sister, wife that she is today. I wish I knew more, I wish I payed more attention. 

When we were little she dressed like me, acted like me did everything I did. But she is longer a little girl but a women that I look up to. I hope I am as good of a mother as her, her strength to handle the world on her shoulders is admirable. It's so great having a person like her to have for support and guidance. I love my sister, she's not blood, we don't look alike, we are two different people but we love the same people and love each other. Are once "small" group which included my parents, myself, my sister, my brother and my second parents. Just the seven of us for over twenty years slowly has turned into the twelve of us.. Well soon to be twelve still currently eleven. Those ten other people are my world, they have loved me at my best at my worst and support me with no hesitation! 

 Less than a year from today I'll be moving to California to be with Brian and so our little family can be together under one roof finally. 

 It's hard thinking about leaving my friends and family and everything I know, but the hardest will be not being around my sister for Netflix marathons, taco bell lunches and sunday family dinners. I know no distance could break what we worked so hard for. We weren't always close, we always didn't have trust but  just like real sisters fight we fought. We could fight that's for sure. But I would fight for her any day. She doesn't need me to stand up for her, she is tough but I wouldn't hesitate to have her back. 

Tor I respect you so much and I love you, a love deeper than love for people who come from the same blood. You are an amazing friend, mother you always have me laughing and you never fail to give me your opinion..even if it was wanted. 

My little sister is my role model.👭

The Balleweg-Jeras-Roby women. From far left, myself, my mom, my second mom, my sister who was pregnant with babe cope and my future sister-in-law. Also known as My Family💞

Baby Daddy?

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   That's right! We are expecting our first child! It has been a crazy roller coaster!! I know Brian is going to make the greatest daddy! We both are a little nervous but have had a lot of talk about names! And what kind of parents we want to be! It's very exciting! It's the scariest and biggest news of my life & with our friends & family and all the support I know we will be great at it! I have been reading about pregnancy, I have the greatest book called Knocked Up- Confession of a Hip Mother-to-be. It's so comforting knowing that I'm not the only one worried about becoming a mother or going to dr appointments alone, living apart from my baby daddy and worrying about how fat I will get or how fast will I lost the weight!! It's one the greatest books I have ever read! 

 

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 Brian and I will hopefully be going to our first dr appointment together this coming up monday on January 19th. I can't wait! I wonder what he/she will look like! Besides just being scared about actually being someone's parent it breaks my heart that Brian will be overseas during the birth. 💔 I know it kills Brian that he won't be here for the birth of our baby or won't be able to hold his child for almost 2 months after he or she is born! But we both can not wait for when he gets home and we get to go start our life as a family in California! I hope the seven months he is deployed go by so fast! It's going to be the hardest thing saying "see you later" I know I'm not the first mother to give birth to their child without their significant other present. I definitely didn't picture it, but there is no one else in the world I would rather be becoming parents with. Brian and I are over our weird not ourselves freak out moment and things couldn't be better. He's so supportive and tells me everyday how much he loves me and how beautiful and sexy I am now and how I still will be while being 9 months pregnant.❤️ I got so lucky meeting him. I couldn't even begin to picture what my life would even be like without him, he is so goofy and nerdy and brings so much happiness into my life. The greatest part is he excepts and loves me for ME! I can't wait to start buying clothes and nursery items once we know if it's a boy or girl! We both are really hoping for a boy but of course we will be just as excited if it is as girl! 

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  I just got back to Arizona from an amazing four day get away to visit my baby daddy!😉 Still so weird to say that but I love it! Besides just being able to spend time with my love, he was able to get the weekend off and we were able to drive to Fresno so I could FINALLY meet his family! It was a great experience. I met his wonderful aunt & uncle and his cousins he grew up with, also met his very nice brother and his very joyful and kind hearted mother. I had a great time! It was a big step for us and I'm so greatful Brian felt I was important enough to meet his family and talk about our big news with them and they are all so excited! I was hoping we could have a baby shower and go visit them all again before he has to leave at the end of April. And of course we will return to visit maybe for a weekend after the baby is born and after we have moved into our first home together! So many good things to come in 2015, but I honestly want 2016 to be here already so my little but growing family can be all together. I can wait to see Brian play and teach and play music to our baby! Seeing him when he comes home is going to be the greatest most incredible day and for him to meet his child, I think he can't wait either. 

    

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 So far I have had a little sickness, not really morning sickness it kinda comes and goes, I believe it depends more on what I ate and what out little meatball ( that's what we are calling the baby right now, meatball hehe it's cute because we both are a little Italian!) does and doesn't like that I ate! I have noticed I have been eating more and have been getting sleepy and have very low energy pretty much all day! 

 ▶️January 11th:

      Was a very depressing day for me when I tried buying a super cute pair of little army bad ass boots. But my legs are a little swollen and I couldn't fit in them!

 I couldn't wait to share the news! We have so much support from family and our friends it's a great feeling. Goodnight blog! I will keep you updated each step of the way! Can't wait to meet you my little meatball!❤️❤️

Mommy & Daddh love you so much already! 

    XOXO