Heavy heart

I just miss you so much my heart hurts. Kenzie needs you and so do I baby!❤️

Forever&Always 

XOXO

Missing the group we call family very much.❤️

 It's COACHELLA season!!! And weekend two is in full swing! And baby & I are not joining the group of amazing new friends and our family-friends group. B is out on the ship and I haven't been able to talk to him in a few days which is made today and this coming up weekend a very emotional one for this already emotional prego. I miss the none stop laughter I share with my group, the smiles and memories we have made so quickly. B and have some amazing friends who have all turned into our small family group. Some are new and are warming and welcoming and have become family so quickly. Their supprt along with the long time support we have gotten from our family/friend group. I have been thinking a lot of so many people have or were negative or just weren't fully supportive but where "happy" for us. But this group that contains 8 of us is all I need when it comes to friends and family. And not having any of them to talk to or spend time with makes me miss them all so much. I hope they dance the nights away and make happy new memories at coachella but I really can not wait till B and mines baby shower comes up in just a short 16 more days!! 💗💗💗💗💗💗

 

  Than after that I get to spend 9 full days with the love of my life and some of our family friends while we are in California. Everything is so bitter sweet lately, and I know my over emotional state is not making anything easier! 

But when things are down and when I'm feeling lonely( since Kenzie Kat doesn't talk back much)  my sister came up with a great idea to go have a girls night and do some shopping and just hang out with the girls. Will be myself, my sister, my niece and both my moms. Should be exactly what I need to help bring me out of this funk.  Keeping positive & sending out good vibes 

#motherfeelings

 

  Got my first true real feel of pure excitement to get to hold you and get to know you and your beautiful soul. Kenzie Kat I love you💗

#pregnant & #confident

                Pregnant & confident                

 It's taken me awhile to start to feel comfortable with my body changes. I have always had weight issues growing up, so with the first 5-8 pounds I really could feel the difference. I am not use to being at this high of weight for my small size. 

 Things I did to help myself feel better and more confident was continuing to work out. Laying out for small periods, when I am tan I feel better, I feel golden!😊 I give into my guilty food cravings j just do in portions. I could eat a lot healthier but eating in portions allows me to still feel good and get what I want!  But what helped the most was I have a really supportive and loving man. B helps bring me up when I'm really down about myself and my looks. The best feeling is him loving how I look and making me feel sexy. That's the best feeling in the world.❤️✨✨

Our little family

 Had the most amazing weekend with B. It was so nice being able to spend time together just the two of us, 3 weeks feels like a life time not getting to see him. But sadly the weekend ended and he is back out in training. I already miss him. Will be another 3 weeks till I see him, and when I do see him we get to celebrate our baby girl and have our baby shower!💞 We are having the baby shower very early since shortly into May B will be getting ready to deploy. Felt like we had so much time before he has to leave and time has gone by so fast each day goes by faster and faster. I am so proud of him and all the hard work he had been doing, not just for us but for our future and for our baby girl. He is by far the most dedicated, hard working man I know. I love him so much, I just hope the time while he's gone goes flys by. I selfishly want to keep him here. I have known since we got together that he would be leaving for a 7 month deployment but now that we are having a family and the day is creeping up on us it breaks my heart. I put on a brave face and hide my tears, it's not his fault he is leaving, it's his job it's what he has been working so hard for. It's selfish of me to even try and stand in the way of his hard work or to make him feel bad about leaving. It all will be worth it in the end, this will be one the hardest obstacles I have had to face in my life.

 I just can't help but worry, I just want him to come home and be able to meet our baby girl. I never want a last kiss or a last laugh, I don't want him to be a memory that our daughter will never have I want him to teach her and watch her grow. We both are so lucky to have such an amazing man in our lives. I love you B. Please come home to baby K and myself. 

 Whenever I start to think to deep into what is coming up I think back to when we very first met, when he got me drunk, when we went on our first adventure, the first time we kissed and the first time he said he loved me. I smile just thinking of him. This weekend was extra amazing, we went on a date night, had a Saturday filled with hanging out at my cousins new place laying by the pool in the perfect Arizona sun with lots of fun people, drinks and B even taught me how to play the paino. Of course he taught me one of our favorites a Matt & Kim song.❤️ After he accompanied me to the Lucky Man Concert at the Tempe Beach Park, we saw The Used, The Offspring and of course my favorite A Day to Remember! It was so great! Music is a big part of both of our lives, it brought us together and it was so awesome being able to enjoy one my favorite bands with him. And of course we enjoyed Easter Sundah with my family and did our registry for baby K. 

I have no idea why or how I got so lucky with getting to be with someone like B but I couldn't be happier. He makes me excited for the future, he lifts me up and brings out the best in me. I love you B, if you are to ever see this im sure you already know how much you mean to me and I'm sure you probably think I'm cheesy but I don't care I'll be cheesy all day baby! 😊