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Today was the day, the day I knew that was coming but it felt like we had so much time before it did. B deployed for his 7 month deployment today and it was so hard, emotionally I am just drained. I miss him so much already, I miss his touch and just having him hold me while we lay together! And the way he can make me smile and cheer me up when I'm feeling down. In a way it's good because now the count down has started for him to return home to me and baby K and we can finally start our new adventure as a family. I have never loved someone the way I love B, he truly inspires me to be the best me I can be. He has such a good heart and has a beautiful way of looking at the world. Our baby girl is so lucky to have such an amazing daddy. I just am looking forward to our future as a family. My heart is still heavy and I know there will be easier days than others but knowing that at the end of this very difficult and challenging road I can see the sunshine and when that day comes it will all be worth it!
The moment I am most excited for is for B to get to meet his baby girl in person for the first time. I don't think I have ever been so excited for anything in my life! I wish he could be there with me when K comes into the world, but I know it breaks his heart he can't be so dreading on that he can't be there more doesn't help. But our reunion as a family will make all the tears and heartache disappear!
While B was on break before his deployment we had our baby shower in Arizona surrounded by all our amazing friends and family who have given us so much love and have given K so much love! She already has an amazing Godmother who we couldn't have picked a better person to be. After the shower B and j drove back to California to his home city up north and saw his family and childhood friends, was so great seeing him happy and carefree. The rest of the week we spent running errands and spending with our very close friends. We didn't do anything super crazy, or go anywhere fancy but the time spent dancing, laughing and just talking with the ones the net the most to us and to B was the best time in the world. A special night spent with his very best friend and his lovely wife ( who is also Bs close friend) and their adorable daughter was one the best nights. Just relaxing talking about becoming parents and enjoying good food with good people made the end of the week end off perfectly. And as a last to do B and I spent our last day sleeping in getting good food, and went and made baby K a very very special bear!🐻
We made K a bear from build-a-bear! She is a colorful little bear we named Sprinkles from mom & dad to K! To make it even better B recorded a special message in it for baby K to have so she can hear his voice every night. 💞 until K is born I am borrowing her bear for cuddling with is brings me comfort in knowing he put so much love into creating this bear for her. I play the message close to my belly every night since so she can hear daddy's voice!
I miss you B, it's hard to not want to crawl into bed and hide, to not cry and to not want to fly across the world to come find you. You are the most amazing man I have ever met, thank you for not giving up on me a year ago when I was a lost soul who was just afraid of love. Baby I love you and am so proud of you everyday! And no matter where in life our adventures may bring us you can count on me and K to always be there with you! I love you forever & always. Hurry home K and I are waiting baby!
Xoxo
Support our troops people, they all need to come home to the people they love. 
